Hometown Glory
by ClaireLongbourne
Summary: Blair fled to France in Junior year, and is returning for Senior year. She must now deal with the fallout of her departure. Blair-centric. Chuck too.
1. Chapter 1

"Can I help you, miss?"

"I'm fine, I'm just wandering," Blair replied airily. "This is my hometown," she said quietly, to herself more than anyone else. She had been wandering the streets of Manhattan all day, thankfully she wore flats today. On her first day back in town, she could think of no better way to spend the sunny day than to get lost and wander. She was staring into Central Park from the 72nd Street entrance. She was completely unaware of the stares she was receiving herself, people wondering what this gorgeous girl was looking at. It felt good, to be lost in a sea of New Yorkers. She missed this place; she missed the park. It was the place of calm and tranquility amidst the turbulent waves of the city.

She entered the park and immediately got lost. She found a nice flat rock and lay out across it, basking in the sun's final rays in her BCBG white cotton dress. New York in the summer was truly remarkable. Normally, it wouldn't have been safe to be in the park this late, but there were throngs of people, savoring the last weeks of summer.

Blair was savoring the last weeks before she returned to Constance. She ran. She wasn't trying to deny anything, but she dreaded what people would say about her return. It had been months since the overthrow of Queen B. She moved to France for the remainder of the school year and had spent most of the summer in Paris. She changed her phone number, email address, and never checked GossipGirl. She had worked very hard to completely sever ties with New York society. Aside from Serena, she hadn't kept in contact with anyone except her mother.

She watched as the sun disappeared and gave way to a deep purple sky. Looking around, she noticed most people making their way out of the park and decided to follow suit. She followed a long-legged blond, she walked with a sway. Her whole body had a flow to it, a natural grace. She immediately was reminded of her best friend. Serena wasn't expecting Blair's return.

Up until two days prior, Blair had every intention of finishing school at the academy in Lyon, but was prompted to return to Constance because of the AP classes. Blair needed all AP classes to get into Yale, plus she would be guaranteed valedictorian at Constance, whereas at her French school that bitch Manon Baroche was 1st in the class. After a two day debate with herself, four pro-con lists, and several frantic calls to her therapist, Blair came to the decision that it was best that she return to New York.

As Blair exited the park, she headed downtown, to the Plaza. She needed to see Serena. It was only fair that Serena know that she was back. She considered whether or not Serena's step-brother would be home, but decided it was irrelevant and had no effect on her decision to see Serena. He was not worth her thoughts. She had spent too many nights crying about what he said to her, about the terrible names he called her. She needed to move on. She found herself at the familiar black gates in no time at all. She was surprised at how energized she was, even after about ten hours of walking aimlessly. She walked briskly to the elevator and was whisked to the penthouse. Hopefully Serena was home, she should have called.

When the elevator opened, she walked into the living room cautiously. She didn't want to disturb Bart if he was working. "Serena?" she called quietly. "Is anyone home?"

Serena came flying out of her room screaming. As she ran closer, Blair could see the tears forming in her best friend's eyes. "Oh my God! I thought it was you, but then I was like 'no way' and I can't believe you're here!" she said, as she leaped at Blair to pull her into a bear hug.

"Oh, S, I've missed you so much," Blair practically cried.

"You too, B."

"Screw the French. Nonchalance is overrated!" Blair cried back to Serena. She hadn't realized how much she missed Serena's vibrancy. Her love of life was what Blair envied most about her.

"Look at your hair," Serena mused as she ran her fingers through Blair's long locks. "It's so long."

"Is it too-"

"No, no, no. It's amazing!"

"Thanks S," Blair said as they took seats in the living room.

"So, spill everything. I want to know each excruciating detail. Every baguette, every beret, every chateau and boulangerie. Tell me everything."

"Well, at first I was really intimidated, but I didn't want them to see that I was afraid-"

"Those French can smell fear!" Serena interjected.

"Anyways, I never let them see…." Blair regaled Serena with the whole story. She told her about the parties and her friends, about Roman and their new cat, no detail was spared. "But I missed home. I will never get over this city. I missed you way too much."

"So, does this mean you're staying here for school too? This isn't just a visit," Serena added hopefully.

"Yes, Blair Waldorf is back."

They talked for hours. It was later than Blair realized. She had to get home. Her mom wanted to spend time with her daughter too. She said goodbye to Serena, and was just about to get into the elevator when it opened in front of her to reveal Lily holding a vase of orchids. "Blair!" she said excitedly.

"Hi Lily," Blair said, "Why don't I help you with those?" she offered, taking the vase and setting it on the coffee table. Then, Lily pulled her into a hug.

"We've missed you around here. Tell me all about France," Lily said.

"I wish I could, but I'm actually supposed to be with my mom right now. She's probably freaking out," Blair said with a slight pouty face.

"Oh, well, you and Eleanor simply must join us for dinner. How's Friday?" Lily asked.

"That sounds great Lily, I'll have to talk to my mom."

"You don't worry about a thing. I'll arrange everything. I'll call your mother tomorrow. It's great to have you back!"

"Bye, Lily. I'll text you later Serena," she said as she stepped into the elevator.

Blair was surprised at how easily she fell back into her life. This wasn't going to be so bad, she thought to herself as she crossed the courtyard and walked through the iron gates. She put in her headphones just as she saw a black limo pull up in front of the gates. She knew that limo. She would recognize it anywhere. She had dreams about that limo, what the hell, she had nightmares about that limo. She saw the door slowly opening and quickly turned the corner before she caught a glimpse of who she knew was getting out. He definitely would have seen her, but she wasn't ready to face him. She would just pretend that she didn't see him. She just let her music wash over her as she walked back uptown to her home.

She tried to escape the feelings that flooded her mind. She tried not to drown in the pain that was slowly overcoming her. She had actually loved him. She saw herself with him, as in the long term. She loved him, and he clearly didn't feel the same way. She thought she was ready for this. She had mentally prepared to face anyone. She had practiced the smiles and knew exactly how she would greet them, so why did she feel al the pain? Why did it still hurt? She couldn't take it, she had to be farther away from him. Just as 'Hometown Glory' came on her playlist she felt her feet moving faster beneath her. She was running. She ran through the hoards of people. She felt the tears coming, but couldn't stop. She needed to get away. She needed to get home. She just kept running, tears falling swiftly, her white dress whipping behind her as she fled. Finally, she made it home. She ran to the elevator and into her room, throwing herself on her bed.


	2. Chapter 2

_Yes, Chuck had definitely seen her. He knew as soon as he saw her in the distance. She looked gorgeous. She was glowing, her skin was a beautiful bronze, not fake looking. Her white dress was perfect for the day, but she was different. She carried herself differently, and she was not chauffeured. She had her iPod in and it looked like she was walking straight to the limo, but she turned suddenly. He got out of the limo and started to follow her. In front of him, she turned the corner. He quickened his pace to catch up with her, but as he rounded the corner he saw her running. Had she seen him? He didn't chase her. He wasn't a stalker, but he desperately wanted to know where she was going and if she had seen him._

She was almost asleep when she got a text from Serena.

**U ok?**

**S**

Blair was a bit put off. She was definitely not okay, but how could Serena know that?

**Gr8! Y?**

**B**

Serena replied within seconds.

**GossipGirl**

Shit. Blair had completely forgotten about that sneaky bitch. She didn't want to be noticed. She wanted to blend. She didn't want to be the Queen anymore. She really didn't care. The façade she had created was too tough to maintain and she couldn't do it anymore. She was too unhappy already. Forcing herself into a competition for a superficial title would only depress her more. However, she did need know what was being said about her, so she would know what to expect.

Reluctantly, she opened her laptop to GossipGirl's homepage. There was a picture of Blair just hours before, running with one stray tear flowing down her cheek. Below it was another picture of her in Central Park and then there was yet another one of her in Chelsea, walking with her head down, and a sad expression.

**Spotted: Our dethroned Queen, back from la France and oh how we've missed you. It seems that B was on a tour de Manhattan. Thx to my loyal Manhattanites who have sent me too many pics to choose from. Looks like B is back and we want answers. Are you here to stay? (we can only hope) What's with the long walk? Why so sad? And most importantly, what or who are you running from? **

Blair shut her computer with extra force. Of course she was all over the internet within hours of being back. It was the same BS that drove her away. She didn't want this world anymore. Why did she come back again?

She spent the next few days hanging out with Serena and readjusting to her life. She ran into a few old 'friends' and was perfectly cordial, but she made sure to maintain a distance. Dinner at the van der Bass house was tonight. Blair and Eleanor were leaving shortly, but Blair couldn't quite choose an outfit. She had already realized that she wasn't ready to see Chuck, but was now being thrust into his lair. She needed to look perfect. She ended up choosing a cream Marc Jacobs silk blouse with a blue skirt. She put on tights, but took them off because it was just too damn hot for them. She assessed her appearance and finally decided to pull her hair back into a low ponytail, wrapping hair around the rubber band, so it looked more polished. When she was finally satisfied with her appearance, they left.

They brought a bottle of Bordeaux's finest wine and a bouquet of hydrangeas for their hosts. The elevator doors opened and everyone greeted each other warmly. Their families were always close. Blair immediately went to Serena's side. She looked around for Chuck, but was slightly disappointed to find that he was not present. As they sat down to dinner, Blair noticed that there was an extra place set. Clearly, Chuck was meant to be here, but just blew it off. It was typical.

"Charles is running late," Lily explained.

"Working late again?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes," Bart said, "he's been at the office every day this summer, finally starting to show some initiative."

"That's wonderful, Bart. You must be so proud," exclaimed Eleanor.

Bart barely flinched. "There's been a definite improvement," he said nonchalantly.

"Anyways," Eric said, sensing a change of subject would be appreciated, "How was France, Blair?"

Blair smiled appreciatively, "It was great!" she exclaimed. The next few minutes were spent discussing Sarkozy, the merit of the salade nicoise, and Carla Bruni. Blair was listening to Serena's defense of that home-wrecking slut when they heard the elevator doors open.

They all turned their attention to Chuck, who waltzed in with his usual confident swagger. Blair immediately noticed how tired he looked. His eyes had dark circles around them and his posture wasn't as straight as usual. He looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. It saddened Blair to see him look so ragged. She avoided his eyes and decided to pay closer attention to the chicken, which she had cut into tiny pieces on her plate.

"I'm sorry I'm so late," he said, making his way to the table, "I had to finish up some paperwork."

"You look wonderful, Eleanor," he said, kissing her on the cheek.

He turned to Blair, and their eyes met briefly, for the first time in five months. In those few seconds, all the words he said to her came flooding back. She couldn't do it, she looked away. "It's good to see you, Blair," he greeted.

As he leaned in for a hug, Blair held out a stiff hand, which he shook with a confused expression. "Hello, Chuck," she said.

He took his seat on the other side of the table, diagonal from Blair, and fell into the conversation comfortably. The table fell silent, during a slight lull in the discourse. Lily broke the silence, looking at Blair, "Well, we've certainly missed you around here. You left so suddenly. What happened?"

Blair instinctively looked to Serena, who gave her an apologetic expression. "Um, I just really wanted to be with my dad for awhile. I was supposed to wait until the summer, but I was too eager. He and Roman found a school for me and so I left. It was very sudden, though. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to say good-bye. I missed everyone terribly," she smiled around at the table, purposely not looking at Chuck.

They ate dessert quickly. Blair politely declined hers, saying that she was too full. As they were getting ready to leave, Chuck grabbed Blair's jacket and helped her into it. "Thank you," she said politely, looking in his eyes for the second time.

"Your welcome," he replied courteously. He was, of course, the perfect gentleman. Why was he being so nice? She wanted to loathe him? No, she did loathe him. She had to detest him, especially after what he did to her. She ordered herself to think about how he made her feel. _…rode hard and put away wet…I don't want you…_Blair felt like she was going to be sick just thinking about it. She didn't want to cry in front of everyone, mostly just him. He couldn't see what he had done to her, what he had reduced her to. Everything looked like it was moving in slow motion. She was having trouble breathing, it was coming too fast.

She was having a panic attack. Again. She had had them multiple times in Lyon, mostly when she was thinking about him. She had to hold herself together. She waved good-bye to the van der Bass family as she stepped into the elevator. "I'll meet you at home, Mom," she called as the doors closed. Her mom would be talking to Lily for at least another 15 minutes, which was time she didn't have.

As soon as the door closed, she was gasping for breath over and over again. She hunched over and put her hands on her knees, trying to breathe slowly. She felt so light-headed and knew that she was about to pass out. As she felt herself falling, the last thing she remembered hearing was the _ding_ of the doors opening to the lobby.


	3. Chapter 3

She was only out for a minute or two. She felt cool air on her face, someone was fanning her. She heard a few panicked bystanders sigh in relief as her eyes fluttered open. "Are you okay, miss?" someone asked.

"I'm fine, just a little bit woozy," she said, embarrassed by all the people looking at her on the floor. Or, wait, she was on a couch in the lobby. Someone must have moved her. She slowly made her way to her feet. As she attempted to stand, she felt her knees give beneath her. Thankfully, a strong arm caught her around the waist. She looked up to see a handsome boy, who seemed to be about her age.

"Just woozy, huh? Do you need to call someone to come and get you?" he asked, concern evident in his soft eyes.

"No," Blair said quickly, "I don't want anyone to worry. I'll be fine," she added as she started walking out of the lobby.

He followed her clicking heels. "Let me at least get you a cab," he offered.

She turned to face him. She finally got to appraise his entire appearance. He was polished, clean-cut, nice jaw line, wavy brown hair, light blue eyes, and a very fit body. She would have immediately been attracted to him if she wasn't so preoccupied dissecting her feelings for Chuck Bass."Thank you for your concern, but I'm really fine. And I prefer to walk, but thanks anyway," she said, walking away from the handsome stranger.

"Well, I can't just let you go by yourself. I have to walk you home now," he told her.

"And why is that?" she asked.

"Because I can't let a sick girl walk home alone. It's downright ungentlemanly and goes against my entire upbringing. No, I have to walk with you," he said with a smile.

"I don't need a nanny," Blair countered, smiling back at him.

"No, not a nanny. Maybe just some company?" he said.

"Fine," Blair relented, as he linked his arm with hers. She needed a friend anyways.

"So, are you going to tell me why I found you unconscious in an elevator?" he asked, as they walked up Madison Avenue arm-in-arm.

"Well, I don't really know," she lied, "One minute I was okay, and the next, I woke up on a couch in the lobby."

"Hmm, why don't we start with what you were doing tonight and then maybe we can deduce what triggered your fainting?"

"I was at dinner with my best-friend and her family. They live in the pent-house, and I was just leaving," she explained.

"Well, did you eat today?" he asked, appraising her thin frame.

"Yes," she lied. Truthfully, she had barely eaten since she had been home.

"Well, that's all I've got," he laughed, "but I'm no doctor. Speaking of which, maybe you should see one."

"Maybe," Blair mused. She wanted to change the subject, "So, you're not a doctor. What are you?"

"A student," he answered. "I start school here in a week or so."

"Oh really? NYU, Columbia, Marymount?" she asked.

"Oh, um, actually I'm still in high school. I'm a senior at St. Jude's."

Blair was in utter shock. "Why don't I know you? I'm a senior at Constance, right next door."

"This is my first year. I've been at boarding school for the past three years. Exeter," he explained.

"You left Exeter!" Blair gasped. Why would anyone leave that golden ticket to the holy trinity? "Why?"

"Oh," he looked down and shuffled awkwardly, "it's just that, um, my mom. She's sick and I came back so I could live with her."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Blair apologized.

"No," he said, smiling at her, "it's okay. It's nice to know someone. So you've been here all four years?" he asked.

"No, I spent last semester in France, with my dad," she told him.

"That sounds amazing."

"It was," she lied again. Honestly, she was miserable the whole time. She spent all her time thinking about New York, and Serena, and Dorota, and the girls of the Steps, and mostly Chuck. She had been a zombie in France. She put up a nice façade, but was just a shell of who she used to be. Thinking this over a bit more, Blair realized that she was still a shell. She stopped in front of her building. "This is me."

"Oh," he said. She saw the disappointment on his face. She knew he wanted to ask her out, but wasn't going to encourage him. She liked him, but strictly in a friendly manner. She wanted a friend, nothing more. "Can I walk you to your door?"

"Sure," she said, leading the way.

"So," he said, when they were in the elevator, "Do I get to know your name?"

"Oh my God," she was embarrassed by her rudeness, "I'm so sorry. I'm Blair Waldorf. And you are?"

"Marcos Glimidakis, you can call me Marc though," he said. The elevator dinged ad Blair made her way out of the elevator. Just before the doors closed, he threw his arm out to stop them. "Blair, could I have your number? Maybe we could hang out before school. Just so I'm not completely devoid of acquaintances, if it's alright with you, that is?"

"Of course," she said happily. She gave him her number, hugged him good-bye, and went to her room.

She collapsed onto her bed, crying again. Why was this so difficult? She hated feeling sad all the time. He was so nice and charming and handsome and yet, all she could think about was Chuck Bass. Why did he have to pollute every thought she had. She would just have to push through. She dried her tears, hopped in the shower, and went to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

OK, so I wrote this fairly quickly, I know that it's frustrating to read all this exposition without any direct BC contact, but I think that the built up tension will elevate the direct encounters. That being said, I really appreciate the good responses and if anyone has any ideas, I'll try to work them into the story.

The next week passed with ease. Blair found herself surrounded by people. She hung out with Marc a few times. They walked around Central Park and wandered the streets aimlessly. She was in near constant contact with Serena, who, much to her disappointment, still hadn't met Marc. Blair also found herself being attacked with phone calls from old 'friends'. Penelope, Hazel, and Is were among her many callers. She had lunch with them once and they went to a club downtown a few days later. They seemed satiated for the moment.

Blair didn't want to hang out with these people, but she didn't want to be alone or be sad all the time. She decided that she would go by the old policy of faking it until you make it. If she just pretended to be happy for awhile, then maybe she would find herself being happy. Sure, it wasn't a foolproof plan, but it beat being depressed. She was also reluctant to hang out with the girls of the Steps because she didn't want to be queen. Although it did seem a bit inevitable, Gossip Girl was already pegging her as the 'it' girl of the moment. Blair couldn't decipher exactly who was queen at the moment, the most likely was Penelope, but she was too weak to hold onto it. Who cared anyways? It didn't matter.

Gossip Girl was also all over Marcos. She got a picture of them walking that first night arm-in-arm, and ever since, he was also a prime target of hers. There were entire blogs devoted to who he was and what their relationship status was. Most of the blogs were wrong, saying that Blair and him were definitely dating, but Blair never bothered to contradict it herself because she was determined to stay away from Gossip Girl, no matter what she said.

The first day of school was rapidly approaching and Serena was begging Blair to spend the day with her. Blair agreed, but midway through their journey through Central Park, Blair remembered that she had agreed to go to lunch with Marc.

"Oh, B, that's great! Why don't we all go together? I'm dying to meet him. Please," she begged.

"Yeah," Blair agreed, "that sounds good." She looked at her watch, "Shit! We're going to be late, let's go."

The two girls ran through the park, their hair shining in the midday's sunlight. They ran and hailed a cab and made it to the restaurant only five minutes late.

"And here I thought you were punctual!" Marc teased Blair, pulling her into a hug.

"Shut up," Blair smiled at him. "Oh, this is Serena. Serena this is Marc."

They shook hands and Serena beamed at him. "I've heard so much about you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Likewise," he said, as they sat at a round table and ordered.

They fell into an easy flow of conversation.

"So, I hear you grew up in Greece. How was that?" Serena asked.

"It was amazing, it's such a small close community, I can't really explain it."

"You barely have an accent, how long have you been stateside?"

"Well, I have been coming here every summer since I was 7 or so, plus my mom used to live in Greece with me so I learned English as a first language."

"How did you end up at Exeter?"

"My dad has had a lot of success in his business and wanted me to get a proper education. He only wanted the best, and that was Exeter, but now I'm in New York to be with my mom."

"That's so nice," Serena said. "Have you met anybody from St. Jude's yet?"

"Not yet, but there's time. I'm sure I'll make friends at school or with soccer or something," he said confidently.

"You play soccer?" Blair asked, surprised that there was something about Marc she didn't know.

"Yeah, why?"

"Our friend Nate is captain of the team," Blair said. "You'll meet him for sure."

"Your _friend_?" Marc asked skeptically.

"It's not like that, Marc," Blair said earnestly.

"Come on B, let's be honest," Serena smiled.

"Fine," Blair said, "Nate and I had a thing."

Serena scoffed, "They dated from kindergarten until junior year. They were practically betrothed."

"Wow, why did you break up?"

Serena and Blair looked at each other. "It's totally ancient history," Blair started, signaling that it was okay for Serena to talk about it.

"But," interjected Serena, "I slept with Nate while he was with Blair and that's I guess why they broke it off."

Marc looked at Blair and then back to Serena and raised his eyebrows, "And you're both okay with this?"

"Yeah, S is my best friend. She made a mistake, it happens to the best of us, even me. Nate and I were broken up for approximately 3 hours before I went off and slept with his best friend, so I guess we're even. It was never meant to be with me and Nate. I saw him as what I wished he was. I ignored his obvious flaws and put him on a pedestal, and he did the same to me. It was doomed. We were never really in love."

"And he's still your friend? Both of you?"

"Yeah, we're all still friends," Blair said, "Well except for Nate's best friend, Chuck, and I. He's also Serena's step-brother."

"Holy shit! This is seriously twisted."

"Still want to be our friend?" Serena asked, laughing.

"So why aren't you and Chuck friends?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now," Blair said in a tone that signaled the end of the discussion.

They ate their lunches in peace and laughed off the drama of the previous year. Well, Blair only managed to push her food around and not take a single bite. Then Marc left to visit his mom. As soon as Marc was gone, Serena rounded on Blair, "So you know he's like in love with you, right?"

"No, let's not even go there. He and I are only friends."

Serena gaped at Blair, "Blair, just because you don't want it to be true, doesn't mean it's false. One, he is completely enraptured with everything you say. Two, when he found out that I slept with your boyfriend, he looked like he wanted to slap me across the face with his filet. And three, how could he not be in love with you?"

"Easily," Blair said darkly, "And besides, I only want him as a friend, nothing more, so even if he does love me or want me to be his girlfriend, it really doesn't matter because I don't want that with him."

"What? Why not? He's a hot, rich Greek! Plus he's amazingly nice."

"I just…" want Chuck, Blair wanted to say, "I can't..I won't."

Serena looked at Blair with her sad face, "B, I know that Chuck was the reason you left."

"Did he say-"

"No, but it was obvious. He came stumbling home drunk almost every night, or else he was at his suite. One time I hadn't seen him at school for three days, so I tracked him down at 1812," she paused, appraising Blair's unmoving reaction. "I barely recognized him, he just kept saying it was his fault you left and that he didn't deserve you. It was scary. I didn't know what he was going to do."

Blair looked at her feet. So Chuck actually cared. He really did care about her. It didn't reverse what had happened. It didn't take away the fact that he kicked her while she was down. He destroyed her and did it with a smile on his face. He was incapable of love or being in a relationship anyways. "S, did he tell you what he said to me? What he…" she broke off, not wanting to break in front of Serena, "he may have been the reason I left, but he is not the reason I came back. I'm back for me and I just want to finish this year and leave."

"Oh B, I just feel so terrible. He just seems so sad. I know that he's Chuck and he's a perv and mean and everything, but living with him. He's changed B. Really he has, with work and school and everything. He's like a robot, just going through the motions of life, not actually enjoying it."

"That's terrible," Blair said sadly. "But, S, I know that he doesn't want me anymore anyways. He made that perfectly clear," she added darkly.

"I know, but I just wish we could all be friends again."

Blair bowed her head silently. She knew that Serena's heart was in the right place, but she couldn't be just friends with him. No matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise, she had feelings for him, still. She wanted to kick herself for it, but it was the sad truth.

After leaving the restaurant, Blair and Serena parted ways. Blair walked home slowly, head down, taking deep breaths, keeping herself steady. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't keep the dark thoughts from creeping into her mind.

*****************************************************

I know that it's kind of an abrupt end, but I really need them to get back to school, so that's what the next chapter will be all about.


	5. Chapter 5

School. Who knew that one word could instill more fear into Blair Waldorf than anything else ever had? She assessed her perfect appearance one last time before heading out. She walked to school, her head filled with thousands of what-if scenarios. She just pushed them out of her mind. It didn't matter, she told herself, she just had to go to classes and that was it. As she approached school, she passed by the Met steps and saw the new ruling class. Penelope sat at the top with Hazel and Is just below her, next came Nelly Yuki, and then there were three unknown freshman clamored around them, wearing almost identical school uniforms. Clearly they hadn't yet discovered the lax uniform policy, but then again, some never did. Blair had perfected her look by the second day of high school, and no one else got away with as much as she could.

As she passed by, Penelope beckoned her over with a wave. Blair knew what game she was playing and wanted no part of it. Blair knew that if she went over there Penelope would bring up why she left, the pregnancy scare, the Nate-Chuck debacle, and would try to humiliate her. No, Blair was not going to play. Instead she gave Penelope a fake smile and walked right by her, a clear snub. Just because Blair didn't want to be Queen didn't mean she would take orders from anyone else.

During first period Blair got a message from Gossip Girl;

**Spotted: B totally dissing P at the Steps. Does anyone else smell that, I'd say it's sweet revenge with a hint of war. Keep me posted. **

Blair smirked as she put her phone away, taking note of the stares she was receiving. Blair had not completely reformed, and for once she felt good about the attention. She was determined to not be worn down this year. No, this year she would defend herself, no matter what.

At lunch, Blair was in the courtyard reading a chapter of _Candide_ for French, when she noticed someone approach her. "Marc, how's the first day going?"

"It's good. You?"

"As well as can be expected. What classes have you had?"

"AP Statistics, Latin, AP Economics, and Physics, which by the way is terrible. My lab partner smells like cheese," he laughed.

"Sam Thorton?"

"How'd you know?"

Blair raised her eyebrows, "I practically ran the social directory of this school. Just be glad you didn't get Joe Ford or Olivier Dalston."

"Tell me," he prodded.

"Let's just say that there was an incident involving a Thai hooker, several animals, and super glue," Blair told him.

"Enough said," Marc laughed easily. "Anyways I just thought I'd check in with you. I hear you're starting a war."

She rolled her eyes at him, "I am not _trying_ to start a war! Just because I refuse to be a minion stuck underneath a gross cocaine-snorting witch who sleeps with men twice her age… Anyways, as much fun as it is to mess with her, I have made the decision to refrain from completely taking her down."

"But you could," Marc said confidently.

"Easily," said Blair with a smile.

She felt a body suddenly infiltrating their close quarters. "Would you mind if I speak to Blair for a minute?"

"Who-"

"I'm Chuck Bass," he said arrogantly.

Blair nodded at Marc, "I'll just catch up with you later."

She kept her gaze towards Marc's vacated spot so she wouldn't have to look at Chuck. Why was he talking to her? What could he possibly have to say? She knew that he cared on some level, but would he ever admit it?

She could feel his eyes on her, so she forced herself to meet his gaze, "What do you want, Chuck?" she said icily.

"What are you doing with that guy?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I answer you if you answer me."

"Fine, I'm falling madly in love with him and having sex with him every spare minute of the day," she said coldly. He forfeited any right he had to her private life when he decided to stop being a part of it.

"You're lying," he shot back.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," Blair retorted.

He just turned his back and started walking away. "Wait!" Blair yelled, causing him to whip around. "I'm sorry, that was rude. Marc is a friend. I met him a few weeks ago. He's new in town. I've been showing him the ropes." He was making an effort and Blair shouldn't have thrown it in his face. She realized that on some level he was trying to express himself and open up to her.

"Oh," he said, relief evident in his expression.

They just stood there for a few minutes in silence, regarding each other without walls up.

"Your turn," she said expectantly. "Why does it matter?"

He looked at her softly, "You know why."

"No Chuck, it doesn't work like that. Tell me why it matters," she said, fighting back the tears.

"Because-" The bell rang and he stopped his thought.

"Ignore it," she ordered.

"I don't want you to be late."

"Fine," she said, turning her back on him and walking away.

"I'll pick you up after school," he called after her.

"Fine," she echoed.

She could barely pay attention in her last two classes. She and Chuck were finally going to have 'the talk'. He would apologize for last year, about that she was certain. But then what? What did he want? He was Chuck Bass. And could she forgive him? She was so confused. Her head was so filled with Chuck, she barely noticed how everyone was talking about the imminent takedown of Penelope. Before she knew it, the final bell rang, and she was walking out the gates of Constance.

Maybe he would just forget about her, she thought, only half-hoping it was true. When she caught sight of Chuck's limo, she couldn't help but feel her heart fluttering. She tried her best not to show how nervous she was. She stuck her chin out and pulled her pristine posture even straighter, as she approached the limo. She waited outside of the door, refusing to open it herself. The door flew open and she slid into the limo, leaving her alone with Chuck Bass.

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So, next up is the big showdown. Please review and give me suggestions as to where I should take this story. Also, if you could let me know what aspects you like or don't like, it would be much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

They sat in utter silence for a few minutes before Blair grew tired of the game. "Where exactly are you taking me?"

"Home," he replied.

"Oh," she said, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"I thought you might want to change before going to dinner," he said with a smile.

"Oh," she said happily. "It's a bit early, don't you think?"

"Well, I thought we could hang out beforehand, catch up on old times, if you want to?" he added with a smirk.

"That sounds good," she replied as they pulled up to her building.

"I'm going to change too, but I'll be back in an hour, okay?" he said, opening the door for her.

"Okay," she said as she walked away.

As soon as she was into her room, she was sprinting around, looking for the perfect outfit. She didn't want to overdress, but it was just as bad to underdress. Why hadn't he given her an inkling into their destination? It was Chuck, so it definitely wouldn't be casual. She ended up choosing a Carolina Herrera red silk dress. It was knee-length and could be dressed up or down depending on what she did with her hair. In a word, it was perfect. She left her hair down in curls and fixed her makeup. She glanced at the clock, much to her surprise, she had five minutes to spare.

"Ms. Blair. Mr. Chuck for you!" Dorota called from downstairs.

She walked down the stairs, taking each step with caution. She couldn't help but feel light-headed when he was around. He looked good too, perfectly pressed slacks with a collared shirt and sweater vest. Blair looked at Dorota, who was giving Chuck a dark glare. "Behave Ms. Blair," Dorota said as they walked into the elevator.

Once they got outside Blair looked around for his limo, but couldn't find it anywhere. Chuck saw her confused expression, "I thought we could walk. I heard it was your preferred mode of transportation now."

"It is," Blair said, a bit taken aback by his consideration, but then again, he had always been very giving. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"I could, or you could be surprised," he offered.

Blair considered this for a minute, "Fine, surprise me."

He grabbed her by the waist to turn her into the park with him. He was actually taking her on a walk to through the park. She couldn't help but blush when she noticed that he hadn't removed his arm from around her waist as they walked. He led her to a small gazebo by the pond. It was fairly well-hidden. They sat down next to each other, and he began absentmindedly playing with the ends of her curls.

It was so peaceful, that Blair almost jumped when he spoke. "I have to apologize, Blair."

Shit! She didn't want to talk about this. It was too perfect right now, she couldn't show him how he broke her. "No, Chuck. Really, it's fine. You were angry and-"

"No, there's no excuse. And you just need to stop talking because you are about to witness a rarity. I'm sorry."

"Chuck Bass is apologizing…" Blair mused.

"Don't get used to it, but I needed to tell you that I feel terrible for everything I said. You have no idea how much I regret it," he said, looking into her eyes.

"It's done," she lied, "Truthfully, it wasn't even that bad. I just really wanted to go to France. I missed my dad."

"That's not true," Chuck inserted. "I know that I hurt you, Blair, but I just need you to understand how horrible I feel. I should have supported you and been there for you. Instead I kicked you while you were down."

"Yeah, well I shouldn't have gone back to Nate anyways," Blair muttered, shaking her head.

"It wasn't entirely unexpected," he said bitterly.

"Excuse me?" Blair said angrily, "What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means," he answered, "You were never over Nate. He could sleep with your best friend and you still went back to him."

Suddenly Blair realized that Chuck wasn't mad at her, he was just hurt. She had actually hurt his feelings. "I'm sorry. It was stupid."

"It's done," he said, "I just really want a clean slate."

"That sounds perfect," Blair said with a smile.

"Come on," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her away.

The sun was setting over the park as they walked away. Much to her surprise they didn't have to walk far. "This is where you're taking me? The Boat House?"

"Yeah," he answered, "And if you don't like it, then that's too bad."

"Actually," Blair said, "I've never been here."

Blair was utterly astonished that he had managed to pick the one decent place in the city she hadn't been. It was an amazing feat. They took their seats right next to the window overlooking the pond.

Chuck ordered for both of them and took her hand on the table, intertwining their fingers. They laughed about school and her total snub of Penelope. They talked about the imminent downfall of the new social order and they talked about Bass Industries, of Bart's lack of support in Chuck.

"I know that he believes in you, Chuck. You're his son," Blair reassured him.

"Which means nothing to him. No matter how many hours I put in or how many millions I make, he'll never see it as anything."

Blair flinched, recalling dinner when Bart brushed off Lily's attempt to compliment Chuck's new work ethic. "Well, you'll just have to prove him wrong."

"I guess so. You want to get out of here?"

"Sure."

Chuck had called his driver during dinner, knowing that walking downtown was not an option. They ended up at The Box, which was basically a lower-class version of Victrola. They danced and drank until they were both a bit tipsy. It was, after all, still a school night, and they both had homework. Chuck refrained from knocking out every guy that leered at Blair, instead he put a territorial arm over her shoulders. They stumbled out of the club at about 1:30 in the morning, both needing to sleep before school. They slid into the limo and sat in silence for a few minutes, until it rounded a corner a bit too quickly, basically throwing Blair into Chuck's lap.

"Sorry," she said, slowly scooting back to her place.

"Don't be," he said, pulling her closer. "I've missed you so much," he said as he leaned in to press his lips to hers.

Her body immediately reacted; she pressed herself into him and parted her lips, feeling his tongue enveloping hers. He pulled her on top of him running his hands up her thighs and under her dress, as her hands flew through his hair pulling slightly. She bit at his bottom lip before pulling away. His lips immediately went to her neck. His hands were roaming over her back, pulling her impossibly closer. She could feel the bruises forming on her back, in a good way.

Suddenly, her mind snapped into attention. What was she doing? She couldn't put herself in this position again. She wasn't ready to be with Chuck. They weren't even really friends yet, there was no foundation. He wouldn't be able to commit. "Wait," she forced out even though it nearly killed her.

He immediately stopped, "What? Did I hurt you?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

"No," she said regretfully, "It's just that I'm not sure about this. I'm not ready."

"Oh," he said, moving her off of him and completely ceasing all contact.

"Yet," she added hopefully.

"So, what?"

"I just think that we should work on being friends again before we do…that. It's not that I don't want to because I do, really. I just don't want it to end, um, badly," she explained.

She could see the tension in his shoulders and it made her nervous. "What makes you think it would end badly?"

"Well you don't exactly have the best track record with relationships, do you?" she fired at him.

"Because you're clearly an expert. You're boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend and then you came running to me," he yelled.

"I hate you! This is exactly what I'm talking about. We can't go through a single day without fighting!"

"But that's what you come to me for, right? The excitement. That's it, right? I'm good for one thing?" he yelled at her.

"It's not like that and you know it!" she said, fighting back the tears.

"Then why don't you want to be with me?"

"Be with you or actually _be_ with you? There's a difference," she asked coldly.

"Blair, I may not have had a real relationship, but I'm willing to learn. I want to be with you, both ways, but you clearly have no faith in me and don't want the same," he said darkly.

"Yet," she clarified, trying to keep herself together, "I want to make sure that we can still be friends before jumping into anything. Is that so bad?"

"No," he answered with a cold look, "but what is bad is if you're doing this just so you can be with someone else."

"What are you talking about?"

He didn't look at her, instead he just poured himself a glass of scotch. Before he could take a sip, Blair took the glass from his hand and threw it out the window, sending shards flying all over the street. "What are you talking about?" she repeated.

"Oh I think you know," he said, still not meeting her gaze.

"Oh my God! You actually think that I would do that?"

"Leave me on the back-burner just in case Plan A doesn't work out? Oh no, that doesn't sound like you at all," he said sarcastically.

"Fine," Blair said, "I deserved that, but you need to trust me. I have absolutely no romantic interest in Marc. He is just a friend. Please, look at me."

He lifted his gaze to meet hers. "Yet," he conceded.

"Yet," she repeated. "Are you willing to wait?"

"For you, of course."

The limo stopped in front of her building and Blair slid out of the limo, kissing Chuck on the cheek before walking inside. So what did she just do? She was a bit confused herself. She and Chuck seemed to have an arrangement. He was her someday-boyfriend.

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I know it's kind of a lame chapter, but bare with me. I promise to make it better.


	7. Chapter 7

The next couple of weeks passed with ease. Blair easily kept up with school-work, as well as asserting herself as a dominant force in the social world. She had discovered a new tactic without even really wanting to; nonchalance. It turns out that if she just acted completely aloof, people fawned over her. Slowly, she was getting bored though. As much as she tried to deny it, she wanted to claim her throne, to crush those who crushed her. She wanted to destroy them. Did they really think that she was completely reformed? She was just waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

With Jenny Humphrey off the social radar, Penelope was her primary target. Blair already had a lot of dirt on her; a raging cocaine habit, promiscuity, and several surgeries, but none of these alone were enough to ruin her. She might just try to pull a Serena and turn all her faults into endearing characteristics. No, Blair needed a ringer. She needed help.

**Social destruction. U in?**

**B**

He replied not even a minute later.

**Always**

With Chuck's PI on call, she would surely have new information within a few days. After the first day, however, she was desperate for an update. She called Chuck just to check in, "Any news?"

"Hi, how are you? Oh, me I'm fine," he said in a mock offended tone.

"No time, I need to know now," Blair said quickly.

"My guy's working on it. Apparently he's got a lead tonight, but we won't know anything until way later."

"Okay, well, keep me posted."

"Just curious, but why are you so Hell bent on destroying her all of a sudden? Not that I'm not completely into it," he added quickly.

"I guess I'm just tired of doing nothing. I want a little bit of action-"

"Well, I could-"

"Anyways," she cut him off, "I guess I just want my life back. Being above all the petty bullshit is overrated. It's much more fun to win at the game than to not play at all."

"I couldn't have put it better myself," Chuck said, "And speaking of games, when are we going to stop this charade? I know you call me just to hear my voice."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you are desperately trying to find a delicate way to tell me that you were wrong and you don't want to wait."

"Am I?"

"You are. Oh, and you find me completely irresistible," he added.

She could practically see his smirk through the phone, "Oh please, because _I'm_ the one that drunk dialed a week ago wanting to know how you were doing at 4 in the morning?"

"Was that your number?" he laughed.

Blair heard a knock on her door, "Miss Blair, Mr. Marc for you," Dorota called.

"I have to go Chuck, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Blair."

"Goodnight Chuck." Blair hung up and checked her appearance, "Send him in Dorota."

"He leave. He says he want you to meet out in the front. Go for walk," she told her.

"Take sweater Miss Blair, it's chilly," she said, wrapping Blair's pale pink cardigan over her shoulders.

Blair saw Marc shuffling awkwardly by the gates to her building, "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing really, what have you been up to?"

"Oh just planning the downfall of Penelope and whoever she wants to drag down with her," answered Blair happily.

Marc scrunched his nose at this, "I thought you said you were over all of that?"

"Well, it turns out I'm not," she said coolly, upset that he was raining on her parade.

"Okay…"

"Is there a reason you're here?" she asked, trying to cut to the chase.

"Well, actually yeah. I just needed to talk to you," he paused and looked at her apprehensively, "about Chuck."

Blair leaned against the column next to her, rolling her eyes. He leaned over her, propping himself up with one hand over her shoulder. "You two have been spending a lot of time together, and…well, I don't like it."

Blair laughed at this, "It's really nice that you're so concerned with the company I keep, but I trust Chuck. We've worked out our differences."

"Have you? You forgive too easily. He hurt you. He-"

"You think I don't know that?" she shouted, "You weren't even there, you don't know anything about it."

"I know you, and I know that you're a good person. And you hanging around Chuck Bass has just turned you into what you were determined not to become again."

"Maybe I like who I was? Look, if you don't want to be my friend because of Chuck, then that's really lame."

"No," he said, frustrated, "It's not about who you're friends with, it's…it's…"

Blair looked at him expectantly and folded her arms in front of her, "Wha-"

Before she could finish the question she felt his lips on hers.

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I know it's extremely short, but I'm putting up another one immediately so deal with it! And, I know that we liked seeing Blair rise above, but I have to make this at least marginally like her actual character, so yes, she will destroy a gang of sluts, but when she claims the title, it will be different.


	8. Chapter 8

One of his hands was on her waist, pulling her closer, one was on the back of her head pushing her face to his. His tongue managed to find its way into her mouth, only because she was mid word when he shoved it in her throat. She pushed his chest away, but his arms were holding her flush to his body. She made a few struggling muffled noises, and he finally released his hold on her ever so slightly. She used all of her force to shove him away and stabbed a Monolo heel into his foot. "Get away from me!" she yelled, before running back into her building.

She gave Dorota explicit orders not to allow him into the building again. His assault hadn't been entirely unexpected, but his approach was despicable. He basically forced himself on her. She knew he was a good guy, but she was not interested in him. She was repulsed by his behavior and yet, some things he had said stuck in her head.

She had been determined to stay out of this lifestyle, and all of a sudden she was reverting. Was Chuck bad for her? Well, of course he was, but she had known that from the beginning. She felt her phone buzzing, Marc, of course. She let it go to voicemail. Four calls later she was tired of hearing the buzzing noise, so she just turned off her phone. She drifted off to sleep that night, head filled with thoughts of Chuck and her 'transformation'.

Blair slept in until 11 the next morning. Thank God it was a Saturday. After much thought and serious reflection, Blair decided that she liked herself. She liked the attitude, the game, the power, all of it. Blair Waldorf was strong and fierce. She was not one to be walked all over. Blair would keep the long walks, the new perfume, and the new perspective, but other than that, Blair-Waldorf-classic was back and if Marc was upset then he could just deal with it.

Blair left her building with a new pride in herself. She walked with more purpose, she had a devious smile that the old Blair would have been proud of. She tried to call Chuck multiple times, but he didn't answer. Next, she went for Serena, but again, there was no answer. As she was about to slip her phone back into her Prada shoulder bag it buzzed in her hand. It was Marc. Blair, being the new-old-Blair answered it. She didn't run from her problems, which was exactly what Marc was, a problem. For the moment at least.

"Hello."

"Blair, listen, I know what I did was stupid and I'm so sorry. I was being impulsive and I should've stopped, but I've been wanting to do that for a long time and I don't regret it."

"Oh, you don't regret practically molesting me? That's good to know."

"Don't you think you're being a little bit melodramatic?"

"Maybe I _am_ melodramatic; did you ever think of that?"

"Come on. That's not the Blair I know," he said in a soft voice.

"The Blair you know was a Canal Street knock off of the real thing. You met me when I was readjusting to my life. I was in a weak spot, and I can never thank you enough for being there for me, but I never wanted that kind of a relationship with you. I'm sorry if I led you on," she added sincerely.

"This is about Chuck, isn't it?"

"So what if it is?"

"You know my opinion about him and you."

"And you know my opinion about your opinion. I know what I think and that's all I need right now. I'm sorry, but I have to go. I hope we can still be friends. Goodbye Marc," she said as she snapped her phone shut and strutted into the Palace.

She had made her decision. She wanted Chuck and he had to know. She was tired of waiting. Blair Waldorf waited for no one. She knocked twice on the door, but of course, he didn't answer. Thankfully she had a key for just these types of occasions. She slowly opened the door and let out a gasp at what she saw.

Chuck was shirtless and making out with a half naked blond who was propped up on his dresser. The room reeked of liquor and she could see uncapped bottles of pills on his desk. He was grabbing at her waist, pulling her even closer. She had her hand shoved into his pants and was clearly drunk off her ass. Chuck looked up and stared at Blair directly in the eyes."Would you like to join us, Waldorf?" he asked with a glare.

Blair felt her cleverly crafted confidence slipping away all around her. She felt her head spinning. They agreed to wait, she wasn't just imagining that, right? He had definitely sounded sincere, and yet, here he was humping a fake blond. "Who's she?" the nameless slut asked.

"She's no one," Chuck answered, slipping his tongue back into her mouth.

"I'm no one!" Blair yelled, throwing an empty bottle at the dresser right next to Chuck.

"I forgot how you liked it rough Waldorf," he sneered at her.

Blair couldn't breathe. It was happening again; the darkness was creeping into her mind, she was spinning. She needed to get out. "I'm done. Whatever we had, it's over," she managed to gasp out as she ran for the elevator down the hall. She was waiting for it when she heard the door slam. She looked back at the door of his suite, half-expecting to see him running to her, but she saw nothing. He just wanted more privacy. She couldn't hold herself together anymore. She felt the tears falling one after another as her breaths became ever more shallow. She was getting less and less oxygen with each gasp. She stumbled into the opening elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. She fell against the side of the elevator, unable to keep herself standing. She just wanted to stop the pain; why wasn't she passed out already? It never lasted this long. When the doors slid open, she sat on the closest couch, trying to collect herself before she faced the walk home.

She had to put it out of her mind. She couldn't think about him. It would just make it worse. Ignore it and it doesn't exist. It can't hurt you. She told herself this over and over again. She slowly got to her feet and walked out the doors. She tried to keep the tears from flowing, but couldn't help but let a few fall for the world to see. How could he have done this? She had actually been stupid enough to think that she had a future with him. She thought that he had changed. She was an idiot.

She thought she had herself figured out finally, but she was so wrong. She had no control over her life whatsoever. She needed comfort, and she found it at the only place she knew. She stopped at Magnolia Bakery and picked up a pumpkin pie and an apple pie. She just needed a bite and it would be okay. She practically ran home with her desserts. Her mom was out of town, as per usual, so she wouldn't be here to scold Blair for her eating habits. Just one bite, that's all. It wouldn't be so bad.

She sent Dorota on an errand so she wouldn't see what she was doing. She opened up the boxes and got a fork from the drawer. She stuck the fork into the pumpkin pie, but stopped. She pulled out her phone and made two quick calls. The first to Serena, voicemail; and the second to Chuck, voicemail, of course. She threw her phone across the kitchen and grabbed a forkful of pie and swallowed. That was it, she was done. She shouldn't be seeking solace in food. Had she learned nothing?

No, she needed more. She needed it. She shoved mouthful after mouthful in. When she was almost done with the first pie, she felt her stomach crying out in pain. It hurt, but she needed more. She had to have it. Each bite was painful, but she had to have more. Finally, she finished the apple pie and put the fork in the sink.

She walked to her bathroom slowly, each step taken with precision. She avoided looking in the mirror as she turned on the faucet and let the water run. She bent to her knees in front of the toilet and shoved her middle finger as far down her throat as she could reach until she felt everything leaving her body. She did this over and over again. She was never convinced that it was all gone. It was disgusting to leave anything in her body, she needed it all to be gone.

After countless minutes, she lifted her weak body off of the floor, shut off the water, and made her way to the kitchen to dispose of the evidence. She grabbed the boxes and threw them into the fire. She watched as they burned. First, the edges and slowly creeping into the middle. Slowly, destroying it. Blair watched the fire until she heard the elevator doors open, revealing Dorota with the dry-cleaning. She picked herself up and went to her room, where she spent the remainder of the day.

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I know this chapter was jammed full of 'action' and you're probably reeling from it, but keep this in mind:

I am not advocating or glorifying eating disorders in any way! As a recovering bulimic, I can safely say that it is not the answer. It is a work of fiction and I hope that no one is stupid enough to think that binging and purging is the answer!

Anyways, tell me what you think please. I just had a lot of ideas flowing and wanted to get everything out!


	9. Chapter 9

Blair woke up early. She had been in bed the entire day before and couldn't help but be up at the crack of dawn. She had been such an idiot. How could she have believed in Chuck? He was just as unreliable as ever. She went online, with a faint hope that there would be something about Chuck that would assuage her thirst for him because, sadly, she still wanted to be in on his life. She was pathetic and knew it, but she had to know what he was doing, or who.

She was utterly shocked to find a picture of her and Marc sharing their 'kiss' from the previous day. It did look very convincing. Of course, they didn't stick around to take a picture of her dismissal of him. Below the picture were over 100 comments about the relationship between Blair and Marc. It made her stomach turn, knowing that all these people were fully convinced that they were together. She secretly wondered how Marc took the news. Blair was certain he would be embarrassed more than anything. Even though he had completely offended her, Blair still had a soft spot for him. He deserved a girl who would want to be with him, whole-heartedly, not pining for someone else. Then Blair had an epiphany.

Holy shit! Of course! Chuck had seen this and thought that she was seeing Marc. That was why he was with that blond slut. She immediately tried to call him. He didn't answer. She tried three more times with no success, but then stopped to catch her breath. Was she really willing to just forgive Chuck for what he did? He didn't even try to talk to her; he just found some random girl and did what he did best, without giving her a second thought.

It didn't matter, she was going to tell him what really happened, and would decide later how to deal with his indiscretion. She got ready and wet out to find him. First, she went to the Palace, expecting to find him in his suite. However, she was disappointed to find that he was nowhere in sight. She whipped out her phone to call Serena.

"Hello?" a groggy voice asked.

"Wake up S, it's me."

"Blair? What the hell? It's-"

"Time for you to get up? I agree. Now drag your ass down the hall and tell me if your demon step-brother is there?"

"Chuck, yeah, he's here," she groaned, "He came stumbling in around 4, waking me up, hence, the drowsiness, so you'll have to-"

"That's nice Serena, I'll see you in ten," Blair said, snapping her phone shut and hailing a cab.

She walked into the quiet van der Bass apartment and headed straight to Chuck's room. Serena had for sure already gone back to sleep, and Blair was on a mission. She swung the door open and saw him laying there, half naked, but, to her relief, alone. She whipped the sheet off of him with one swift motion. Then she opened the blinds, allowing the morning light to pour into the disheveled room. She turned around to se Chuck slowly showing signs of life. "Morning Bass."

"Blair?" he asked, rubbing his eyes and sauntering towards her. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" he sneered.

"I just thought I'd tell you what a fantastic show you put on yesterday. Even I was impressed with your complete lack of common decency," she said. She was trying to sound as bitchy as possible, but unfortunately, the hurt was apparent in her voice.

"Decency? Who are you to lecture about that?" he chided.

"Oh, you must be talking about how Marc and I have been sneaking around, right? About how you saw the picture on Gossip Girl and your fears were confirmed, so you didn't even bother talking to me, but instead went and…and…" she was trying to be strong, but the words were flooding out of her without her general filter and she couldn't seem to stop. She looked at him in the eyes and pleaded for him to say something.

"And if I had talked to you, then what? I get the signature Blair Waldorf speech about how she's not ready and I'm not ready and the other man is much more suited for her because Blair belongs with the Nates and the Marcs of the world, not with Chuck Bass? Huh?" he asked, hands shaking with anger.

"No!" she yelled, "You would have gotten the truth!"

"Which is what?"

"Which is that I defended you. I told Marc that I didn't care what he thought of you, and that I would rather be with you than be friends with him. Which is that he forced himself on me and I was pushing him away the whole time. Which is that the whole time he was basically molesting me, I was thinking about what you would do to him when I told you. Which is that I came looking for you yesterday to tell you that I was tired of waiting and that I wanted you. Which is that when I saw you with her I wanted to die," she had slowly been inching closer and closer to him, her voice slowly descending to a whisper.

The pain was evident on his face. She had completely and utterly blindsided him. "I didn't sleep with her," he blurted out.

"I don't care," she said quietly, as she made her way to the door.

"Blair, wait," he said, grabbing her arm, pulling her close to him.

She looked at where their skin met and then returned her gaze back to his eyes. "Let go of me," she said menacingly.

He released her. "Why did you come here?"

"I just wanted to let you know the truth. I wanted you to know that you were wrong and that you should have trusted me. You should have had some faith in me, instead of ruining everything."

"Blair please don't-"

"No, Chuck, you don't get to dictate how this ends. I've made my decision. I can't trust you. I'll never be able to."

With that, she left his room and started the long walk home.

Or, at least, that's how she hoped it would've happened. Instead, she was intercepted by Lily who insisted, despite Blair's numerous protests, that she stay for brunch. Blair sat down at the table accompanied by Serena who was eyeing her curiously. "Did you see Chuck this morning?"

"Yes," Blair answered shortly. She hadn't really talked much to Serena, especially about Chuck and wasn't about to spill her heartbreak story at the kitchen table with everyone just steps away.

"And?"

"And nothing."

"Blair what's been going on with you two?"

Blair saw that Eric, Lily, and Bart were approaching the table and frantically put her napkin on her lap, "Please S, can I just tell you about it later. I really can't right now," she begged, feeling her breath speeding up and her face getting hotter. She felt the tears welling in her eyes; she was still reeling from her encounter with Chuck. She ended things. She couldn't believe she had ended things. It was finished. She just kept thinking about how she didn't have a someday with Chuck and she couldn't help but start to tear up.

"Blair, are you feeling okay?" Bart asked in a semi-concerned tone.

"I'm great," she answered with a fake smile, as she saw Chuck walking to the table and taking to seat across from her.

"Good morning Charles," Lily said brightly.

"Is it?" he said off-handedly. She just gave him a patronizing smile, clearly used to sarcastic responses. Lily had actually begun to see them as endearing.

Blair pushed her omelet around on her plate, cutting it up into small pieces and then moving it around some more. She cut up her toast and would raise it to her lips, but would ask a question or make a comment instead of putting her food into her mouth. She had become a pro at getting people to think that she was eating. No one noticed a thing.

Blair avoided Chuck's pleading eyes for the duration of brunch. She felt his eyes on her, watching her not eating, watching her be distracted by looking at her watch or fixing her hair or saying something to Serena, but never eating. He noticed, and she knew that he noticed, but didn't care. He had showed her exactly how much he could be counted on and she was done with him. Once brunch was done, and the plates were cleared, Serena and Blair retreated to Serena's room.

"Okay, I'm dying here. Tell me everything," Serena demanded.

Blair flopped down onto Serena's comfortable bed, "I was so stupid. I actually thought that Chuck had changed, I thought that he was different. I'm such an idiot," Blair cried, finally allowing her tears to be released.

Serena flew to her best friend's side and gently cradled her in her arms, "Oh B, talk to me. Tell me what happened."

"I thought that we had a future. We had basically said that we were going to be together when I was ready. And yesterday, I found him at his suite with a girl. It was pretty obvious what was happening," she wailed.

"B, but everyone thought that you and Marc-"

"No!" screamed Blair, "I have never been interested in Marc, nor will I ever be!"

"Okay, on Gossip Girl, you two seemed pretty…ummm…close."

"That's because he basically assaulted me!"

"B, it looked mutual. Chuck probably saw that too."

"Well duh. I know that, but it's about him not trusting me. Whenever things get tough, he just screws the next thing that walks by. I can't do that; always worry that he'll betray me."

"B, when you left, I thought Chuck would never be the same. And I was right. He did change. I can't believe I'm defending him, but he is different. Yeah, sometimes he reverts to his old ways, but no one's perfect. Even just the past month, he's been happier. He comes home at a reasonable hour, he eats with the family, he smiles more. I'm just worried about him now, that's all."

"So, I'm the bad guy?" Blair gaped. "Poor Chuck, right?"

"I didn't mean it like that Blair," Serena tried to explain.

"You know what Serena? This is the second time Chuck has made me want to die. Do you know how it feels to have the person you love hurt you like that? Chuck can make me feel so bad that I leave the country and yet, he still wins. He's still the good guy!" Blair yelled.

Serena just gaped at her best friend, "Two things. One, Chuck was the reason you left?"

Blair looked at the ground, "He was my last hope for a friend, for support, and he said some things. I'm not going to repeat everything, but I will say that the phrase 'rode hard and put away wet' was thrown around," she answered darkly.

"Oh my God B! I'm so sorry. And two, do you realize what you just said?"

Blair gave Serena a blank look.

"'Do you know how it feels to have the person you _love_ hurt you?'" Serena echoed Blair's words. "You love Chuck."

"No I don't!" Blair said defiantly.

"B you-"

"I do not love Chuck Bass!"

"Whatever you say, Blair, but I just want you to be happy, both of you actually."

"Can we drop this please?" Blair begged.

"For now," Serena said with a smile.

Blair went home and did all of her homework, on a Saturday night. She couldn't get to sleep afterwards. Her head was drowning in thoughts of Chuck. Once again, another sleepless night because of Chuck Bass, and not even in a good way. She loved him? Did she? She thought that maybe it was a possibility, but then got scared and denied everything.

She toyed with the idea of loving Chuck Bass in her mind. If she told him, would he say it back? Was he even capable of love? He had already proved that he couldn't commit. He would never be able to be faithful. What would happen if they were together? He would just cheat. And even if he didn't, would they be happy? Chuck and Blair as a couple; it just didn't seem right. Their dynamic was too abnormal to fit into a relationship.

But, what if he loved her, and what if they worked? It would be perfect. No one else could read her every thought with just one look. No one understood her the way he did. They could communicate without words, they were utterly perfect.

Ugh! It was too confusing. Why did she have to always be thinking about him, no matter what. She wondered if he gave her the same amount of thought. She rolled her eyes at the very thought; it was doubtful.

No! She came to her senses, all of a sudden. She was Blair Waldorf. Didn't she just decide to revert? She was not going to sit around waiting for Chuck Bass to grow up. He had messed around with some dumb blond and broken her heart, again. She would have to ignore him. She couldn't let him hurt her again. No, she had put herself on the line too many times, and she was done.


	10. Chapter 10

It was the first day she would be forced to see him. It had been two days since their fight and her decision to remain distant. Secretly, she couldn't wait to see him. She wanted to watch his every move. What had he been doing? He had called her yesterday, but she didn't answer. It was late and he was most likely drunk.

She walked by the girls of the steps, still waiting patiently to socially destroy Penelope. She nodded her head ever so slightly in their direction; it was a way to show recognition, but complete superiority. She complimented herself on her brilliant tactic; win the game by pretending not to be a part of it.

As she approached the gates of Constance, she saw his limo pull up beside her, the door swinging open. "Morning, Waldorf," he said.

"Good morning, Chuck," she said in a voice completely devoid of enthusiasm or any emotion, as she kept walking, leaving him staring after her.

She immediately went into the bathroom and caught her breath. This was getting too difficult. His two words sent her into an emotional frenzy. This had to stop. She splashed some water on her face and raised her gaze to her reflection. It was no wonder Chuck hooked up with someone else, she practically had a double chin. She immediately regretted her decision to eat a bagel this morning. She could feel it sitting in her stomach, probably producing fat at that very moment. She felt disgusted with herself. Fleeing into a stall, she shoved her finger down her throat until her body convulsed, releasing her breakfast. She stood up slowly and went to class, feeling better already.

She made it through the whole day with no more Chuck sightings, thank God. She didn't know what she would do if she had to see him again.

She walked home and was delighted to hear that her mom was dating someone.

"Oh Blair, darling. You'll adore him!" she gushed, "He's a lawyer and he is dashing and hilarious! He's coming to dinner today so you can meet him."

To say that Blair was disappointed by her mother's choice of boyfriend would be an understatement. She was livid. He was not hilarious or dashing at all. He was short and balding and a _hugger_! How could her mother even be thinking about this? It was absurd! However, Blair's opinion of Cyrus Rose didn't discourage her mother in the slightest. She was hosting a dinner to introduce him to their closest friends on Friday.

The week flew by, and Blair had barely prepared for the torture that was this dinner. She was going to be forced to endure hours of his stories. Granted, she hadn't heard much from him, but it couldn't possibly be good. Since meeting him, she had only spoken to him in passing. He and her mother were always on their way out or on their way to bed, ew! How could she possibly get used to this?

Not to mention the fact that the entire van der Bass family was on the top of the guest list, which meant that Chuck would be in her house tonight.

As soon as she got home from school, she flew to her mother's side, barking orders at the caterers and berating the idiot florist who sent roses, which were entirely inappropriate for the occasion. She needed to do something to get her mind off of the impending doom. With two hours until dinner, Blair went to take a shower and get ready. She curled her hair and pulled half of it back. She chose a black Chanel mini dress with long sleeves. She paired it with two-toned Chanel stockings and pumps. It was polished and sophisticated, but still young and sexy. It was perfect. If only she didn't ruin the dress with her huge stomach. She tried to permanently suck in her stomach, but she always got tired. She couldn't stop staring at it in the mirror. She didn't realize how long she'd been looking at it, but she heard a knock on her door that pulled her out of her trance, "Hey B, it's me."

"Hey S. Did you meet _him_?"

Serena smiled and hugged Blair, "Blair, he doesn't seem that bad. He actually seems kind of nice, and funny."

"Blasphemy!" Blair yelled with a smile, "But really S, how can you say that? He's all wrong."

"Not everyone can be Gregory Peck."

"True, but I would settle for Charlie Chaplin over Cyrus!"

"Oh, come on. You've barely even spoken to him," Serena defended.

"Oh, but I've heard a lot of him!" Blair said with a disgusted look.

"You don't mean…"

"These walls are thinner than they seem!" Blair said with a scowl.

"Oh my God! Not Eleanor, she wouldn't."

"Oh, believe me, she would. A lot."

"Ew," Serena said, as a look of recognition passed over her face. "Hey, I saw you scrutinizing yourself."

Blair rolled her eyes, "I was not scrutinizing, I was just assessing."

"Blair, do we need to have this talk again?" Serena said sincerely.

"S, I'm fine, really."

"Well, I'm going to make sure of it. Chuck said that you might have fallen back into bad habits."

Chuck! What could he know? How could he know? He was actually paying attention to her. Shit, now she had both Serena and Chuck watching her, she would have to eat tonight. She didn't plan on it, but with them watching, she had no options. She would just have to control herself, eat small portions, no dessert, and she would be fine. She could do this. "What did Chuck say?"

"Nothing really, he just said that you looked too thin and that I should keep my eyes open, which I will, but if you say your fine, then I trust you," Serena added.

"I am. Now, let's get down there before my mother kills me," Blair said, leading the way downstairs.

She walked up to her mother, "Blair, so glad you could join us. Although, it would've been nice for you to be here to greet our guests…"

"I'm sorry, I was just finishing up getting ready," Blair apologized, looking at the floor. She saw two large brown shoes approach her.

"Cyrus, it's nice to see you again," she said as he pulled her reluctant body into a hug.

"Not enough!" he said as she attempted to pull away. She threw him a very fake smile.

She escaped after about five minutes of small talk to find Serena. As she rounded a corner too quickly, she bumped into the back of a man who was leaning against the wall, "Oh, excuse me sir. I'm so-" she stopped when he turned to face her.

"Oh that's okay Blair, I'm sure we can think of some way for you to make it up to me," Chuck said with a smirk.

"A heartfelt apology?" she suggested.

"Not quite, but it's a good start."

"And yet, sometimes apologies can't fix the problem," she said, clearly no longer talking about their collision. With that, she walked away to find Serena, who was more than happy to save her from further awkwardness.

She felt her phone vibrating and saw that she had a new text from Marc. They had been on friendly terms still.

**Where R U? We need 2 tlk.**

**-Marc**

She contemplated not responding, but thought better of it and invited him to join them for dinner. She could use some more moral support and he had been a good friend. After the whole kiss debacle, he apologized profusely and stood by her. She still didn't feel comfortable talking to him about Chuck, but she laid all her other problems on him. Slowly, he had become one of her closest friends again.

"B, what are you doing?" Serena asked as she watched Blair send Marc an invitation.

"What do you mean?" Blair asked innocently.

"Blair, you know exactly what I mean. Chuck?"

"This isn't Chuck's home. This isn't Chuck's party. He doesn't get to dictate who comes here or doesn't. I invited Marc as a friend and if that makes Chuck uncomfortable then I'm afraid it's not my problem," she said in a tone that clearly said end-of-discussion.

Serena rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say B."

They mingled for a few more minutes, then she heard the elevator open and she and Serena went to greet Marc.

He ran up to them with a huge smile, showing his dimples.

"So what's the big news?" Blair asked.

"It's my mom, she's in remission!"

"That's fantastic!" Serena exclaimed, as Blair threw her arms around Marc. As her arms were around his neck and his hands strayed dangerously low on her waist, Blair's eyes met Chucks across the room. There was no questioning his thoughts, he was furious. His eyes were completely black and she noticed that his grip on his drink instantly tensed. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see his anger anymore.

He had no right to be angry. They were not together and Marc was just hugging her. He was ridiculous.

They sat at the table, Marc and Serena on either side of Blair, with Chuck directly across from her next to Eric and Bart. She put on a good show of being happy about her mother seeing Cyrus. All of their friends commented on what a beautiful family they were becoming. Blair smiled politely at all of their comments, while inside she was burning. He was not her family! She had a dad, or did they all forget about him just like her mother had? What was the worst was that her mother just let them call it a 'family'. She didn't even bother to correct them and explain that she and Cyrus had barely even been dating for two months! It was utterly infuriating.

She began her meal forcing down small bites, but as she seethed silently she became angrier and angrier and ate more and more. She was on her third helping of mashed potatoes when her mother raised her glass and called the room's attention on her.

"I can't tell you how happy we are that you could join us for dinner. We, that is Cyrus, myself and my daughter Blair, would like to take this opportunity to announce that we will be starting our own family. Cyrus and I are engaged!" she finished with a broad smile.

Everyone clapped and cheered, offering endless congratulations. Blair just sat there, mouth agape. After a few minutes she came to her senses and smiled lightly at Serena who had been looking at her, "I'm fine Serena. Really. This is great."

"B, you can talk to me," Serena offered.

"Yeah, Blair, we're here for you," Marc said putting his arm around her shoulders.

"I'm fine," she said as the caterers brought out desert. It was chocolate mousse, one of Blair's favorites. She had two servings and immediately went to the kitchen where she polished off a third. Each mouthful was relief. Cyrus was going to be her step-father and her mom didn't even bother to warn her. Blair walked through the crowd of the party and walked up to her room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Slowly, she knelt down in front of the toilet and purged. She did it over and over again until she finally thought it was all gone. She heard a small knock on the door.

"Blair it's us," Marc called.

"Please unlock the door Blair," Serena said in a desperate voice.

"I'm fine, please just go. Serena please. I need to be alone right now," Blair called in a weak voice.

"Blair, I'm not leaving until I see that you're okay," Marc said.

She swung the door open and revealed herself, "happy?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"No, B. I'll be happy when you start telling me how you feel," Serena said defiantly.

"Fine, I feel like I want to be left alone. I feel like I need some time to process everything and the two of you aren't making things easier. I feel like I would appreciate it if you both just gave me some space."

Serena had been through enough of Blair's tantrums to know that Blair wasn't going to talk tonight. "Fine B, but I'm always here if you need me."

"Me too," said Marc, as they turned to leave.

As soon as they were gone, she locked herself in the bathroom and sat down against the door listening to the guests saying goodbye. After about an hour, she heard her mother and Cyrus go to bed. Blair was finally alone. She stood up and held herself over her sink and let one tear escape. Nothing was right. She was alone, completely. She became consumed with her own self-pity and let sobs fly from her convulsing body. Her breathing was getting more and more strained. She couldn't help it as her sobs grew more and more severe. She snapped to attention when she heard a knock on her door bathroom door.

She kept quiet. "Blair, I know you're in there," Chuck called.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady, but was still having difficulty breathing.

"Could you maybe unlock the door, so I know you're not going to pass out, and then we can talk?"

"We have nothing to talk about," she wheezed.

"Please, just talk to me. I need to talk to you," he said, finally allowing his fear to show in his voice.

She dried her tears as best she could and fanned herself to make her redness go away. She was still breathing erratically, but she swung the door open and went to sit on her bed. He took a seat next to her. She placed her hands in her lap and stared at them. She watched as another hand joined hers. It was rough and calloused, but it managed to cradle hers gently. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said. She had repeated that line over and over again, every time she wasn't going to admit something.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," he said forcefully as he lifted her chin up to look at him, "Blair, I know what you're doing."

She snatched her hands from out of his hold, stood up and opened her bedroom door, "You can go now."

He walked over to her and she almost thought he was going to leave, until he slowly shut the door again and stayed hovering near her. "I'm not leaving," he said.

She sat back down on her bed and folded her arms across her chest, "What do you want from me Chuck?"

He looked at her as if she was an idiot, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. He just shook his head, "Do you like Cyrus?" he asked abruptly.

"Yes," said Blair automatically, "he's the perfect addition to our family."

"Please tell me the truth."

"I loathe the man. He doesn't dress well, he's thrifty, he's short, he has a catchphrase. He just swoops in and my mom forgets all about me and my dad. You know, I didn't even know they were engaged. My mom didn't even tell me," she said bitterly.

"I'm sorry Blair," he said, sitting down next to her, a bit farther away than before. "Is that why you made yourself throw up?"

"I didn't," she lied.

"Come on Blair, you forget who you're talking to."

"I'm not talking about this," she said defiantly.

"When did it start again?" he asked.

"When do you think?" she spat. As soon as she realized her slip, she regretted it and looked down.

"Blair, I'm so sorry," he said sincerely.

"Stop. Stop saying that. I don't want to hear it," she said bitterly.

"Then tell me what I can say. What can I do to fix this, to fix us?" he asked as he grabbed her hands in his once again.

"There's nothing you can do," she said with a small smile.

"So, that's it then, huh? You're done with me?"

"I never even started with you, so I don't know how you can think that I would be done."

"So, in your version, you never even started with me, so you have no reason to be upset by what I was doing with that girl? Am I right?" he spat.

"Oh please," said Blair, shaking her head.

He just sat there, waiting for a response. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was an idiot. I should've trusted you. I was a moron, but, Blair, you have to understand. Please, just give me a chance. I miss you. Maybe we could just start out being friends."

She considered this for a minute or so, and she finally looked at him with tears in her eyes, "Okay," she said as she fell into a hug with him.

His embrace was tighter than she could ever remember. She just clung to his neck like a child. She let the tears fall as he pulled her onto her bed, so they were both sitting against the wall, her head resting on his shoulder. "Cyrus hugged me," Chuck said.

Blair looked up at him and let out a laugh, "I'm sorry I missed that."

They talked for a while about Cyrus and then moved onto school and the girls.

"Did your guy ever find anything on Penelope?" she asked. He shot her a devilish grin. "Tell me," she ordered.

It was good, but that would all be dealt with on Monday. Finally, she had something to smile about.

Blair let out a huge yawn and let herself slump down a bit. "I should let you get to sleep," Chuck said, getting up and finding his coat.

"Oh," she said, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked hopefully. "Will you answer my calls?"

She gave him a smile. "Of course."

"Good," he said as he opened the door, "But one more thing," he said turning around, "You're gorgeous and you don't need to hurt yourself. You are the most perfect person I know and I never want you to think anything else. Please call me or tell me if you ever think otherwise. I'll always be here."

He left before she had time to respond. Instead she just changed into pajamas and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

The first month of living with Cyrus was tough for Blair. This was mostly because she had to do something that she never, and I mean NEVER, did. She had to admit that she was wrong. Cyrus wasn't all that bad, in fact, he was great. His presence even made Eleanor easier to handle. Her snarky comments and daily critiques were at an all time low. Cyrus was constantly complimenting Blair and making her feel special. He always asked about her day and they had dinner as a family at least three times a week. Blair didn't even mind not being able to go out as much. Most nights she would rather have dinner with her family than go out. The biggest change was that she was actually noticed.

That hadn't been the only change. Her whole group of friends was falling back into place. Nate, Serena, Chuck, and herself were constantly at each other's sides. It was just like old times, except for the reappearance of Dan Humphrey. He and Serena had started dating again which meant his company on most of their group outings, but, surprisingly, Blair didn't mind him as much as before. He was actually kind of nice and a really good listener, albeit a bit judgmental and self-righteous.

The other change in their dynamic was Marc. With his mother's recovery, he was out more often, which meant he joined many of their outings also. Blair was still very friendly with him, despite his infatuation. He had also become close with both Nate and Serena.

Winter break was quickly approaching, which meant everybody was making vacation plans, or at least the kids were. There was a full week of break before Christmas, which meant trips to Aspen and the Alps were afoot. Blair was going to Paris with Serena, Nate, Chuck, Marc, and even Dan.

Blair insisted that their senior winter was spent in France. She had an apartment rented for the week in the heart of the 16th arrondissement, with a gorgeous view of the Eiffel Tower. Her father and Roman were going to come up from Lyon one day to spend with Blair. It would be completely and utterly perfect.

Blair was packing her third suitcase when her plans were completely thrown off.

"I can't make it," he said over the phone, "Bart wants me to take point on this new project and I need to finish before Christmas."

She said nothing, but he could hear her shallow breaths through the receiver. "Blair, I'm so sorry. I was really looking forward to spending the holiday with you."

She tried to keep her voice steady and blink back her tears, "Oh, it's okay. It's no big deal. It was going to be crowded anyways."

"If it were up to me-"

"But it's not, and that's understandable. I have a lot of packing to finish. I'll see you later," she said before slamming her phone shut. She wasn't angry, just disappointed. She had really been looking forward to their time together and was really hoping that this would be a new start for them. Winter in Paris with the person you love, what could be better?

She sighed and opened her phone.

**Wish u could come. Sry. Hope u make Bart proud! **

**B**

She really did want to support him and for him to do well, especially for Bart.

The next day she was at JFK, almost on a flight to Paris with three of her best friends, plus Dan Humphrey, and yet, she felt sad. She didn't really want to be leaving. Chuck would be all alone if she left, and even if she couldn't spend much time with him, at least she could see him for a bit.

"What's wrong B?" Serena asked, seeing Blair's melancholy demeanor.

"Nothing, I just really want to get out of here," she said with a very convincing smile.

"Yeah, this must be like a dream come true for you. A week in Paris," Nate said.

"Totally," she said, and turning to Marc, she added, "I can't believe you've never been before! There's no place like France! It's the most beautiful country and Paris is just…." Blair went on and on, as they slowly progressed through the security line.

"Well, you seem to know a lot about it," he said.

"Blair's been practically living in France since she was five. She goes at least twice a year, and even more now that her dad is there," Nate added. Blair felt a small tick of pride that her former boyfriend actually knew how often she left.

"Can't you get citizenship or something, since your dad lives over there now?" Dan asked.

"I probably could, but I haven't tried yet. I still need my passport," she said. Blair's eyes got wide and she let out a slew of curse words before making a show of rifling through her purse, almost spilling out all of its contents.

"What gives, Blair?" Nate asked.

"I'm such an idiot, a complete moron!" she said, running her fingers through her long brown hair.

"What happened?" asked Serena.

"I…I…before I left, I decided to bring the Marc Jacobs tote instead of my Chanel clutch. Everything was in that clutch and I thought I grabbed everything, but I forgot that I put my passport in the inside pocket and I never got it out."

"So you don't have your passport," Dan summarized.

"Thanks for the Cliffs Notes, Brooklyn," Blair snapped.

"B, just calm down. I'm sure if we explain-" Serena started.

"Oh, I'm sure that airport security will be just all to happy to let me on the plane without a passport!" Blair yelled, "No, I'll just get another flight. I'll meet you at the apartment as soon as I can."

"No, B. We'll all stay," Marc said.

"No," Blair laughed, "This was my mistake. I'll only be a few hours behind and you and Humphrey should get as much time in Paris as possible. Seriously."

She turned around and waved as she walked out of the line and smiled to herself. She had hidden her passport in the very bottom of her purse. Truthfully, she just wanted to see how Chuck was doing. She didn't want to leave without him. She only needed a day or so and then she would go to Paris. She took a cab directly to Bass industries and went straight to Chuck's office. She gave her name to Gloria, the receptionist, who called Chuck.

"Sir, you have a visitor," she said in a soothing voice.

Blair watched as Gloria's face changed from calm to scared in an instant. "I know you said to hold-"…"Yes, sir"…

Blair rolled her eyes at Gloria, "Tell him it's Blair Waldorf," she commanded.

Gloria shook her head at Blair and hung up the phone. "I'm sorry, miss. Mr. Bass is very busy today and has requested that there be no distractions."

Blair didn't give Gloria a second look before she strode to the door of Chuck's office.

"You should look into hiring better employees," she said as she shut his door behind her and walked over to where he was sitting.

He looked up from his empty desk, "Shouldn't you be somewhere over the Atlantic right about now?"

She noticed that he was drunk, a glass of scotch in hand. "Shouldn't you be working? Isn't that why you couldn't come?" she asked, a twinge of pain in her voice. Did he seriously blow her off to get drunk for a week?

"Well, I would be if daddy dearest hadn't pulled me off the account," he said, every word dripping with spite, "It seems I'm not quite up to the task."

Blair took the glass from his hand, "Let's get you home."

She pulled him up and he wrapped his arm over her shoulders, stumbling as they made their way to the elevator. When they got into their cab he didn't remove his hand from her shoulders and she couldn't help but smile at him.

"What is it, Waldorf?"

She kept smiling at him, "You're so drunk," she laughed.

"You're so hot," he retorted.

"You're so repulsive," she teased.

"And why would you sleep with someone you find so repulsive?" he asked.

"Because sometimes even I make mistakes," she answered with a smile.

"Don't say that," said Chuck, suddenly making his voice much more serious. "All I am is just a mistake. That's all it ever is with me; mistakes."

"No, Chuck, I didn't mean it like that," she said as the cab came to a halt in front of the Palace. Blair pulled Chuck into the foyer and up the elevator and finally into his room.

"Is Lily home?"

"No, she and Eric went to Vermont for the week."

"And Bart?"

"At the office, he'll probably be gone all night."

"Good," Blair said, "You need to shower and get cleaned up." She saw the smirk stretch across his lips. "Don't even think about it, Bass."

"Fine," he said, as he got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He lost his balance and crashed onto his knees before he could even turn on the water.

"Ugh," Blair moaned, "I don't want you to slip and hit your head or something. Maybe a bath would be better," she said as she pulled him to his feet and sat him on the bed. Then she went to start the water. Once it was full, she ordered Chuck to get in, as she left and closed the door behind her.

"Blair," she heard him calling from the other side.

"Yes, Chuck," she answered.

"What if I fall asleep in here? I could drown," he drawled.

She could practically see his smirk through the wood, "Well, we'll just have to risk it then, won't we?"

She listened intently at the door, and heard the rustling of water accompanied by a loud thud. Frightened, she swung the door open and ran towards the bath. Chuck just stood there, fully clothed, with his arms outstretched, "What's the matter, Blair?"

"You're lucky I don't drown you myself!" she screamed. "I thought you really hurt yourself!"

"Come on, I was just having a laugh," he reasoned.

"Having a laugh? I put Paris on hold to see you and now you're playing jokes on me!" she screamed.

He couldn't help but laugh at her fury.

"You think this is funny?!" She walked up to him and pushed him into the tub, fully dressed.

"Not as funny as this," he said, grabbing her wrist and pulling her in with him.

She screamed and tried to jump out, but he just held onto her tighter. "My hair! Chuck, this is a new dress!"

"I'll buy you another one," he laughed.

Finally, she stopped struggling and splashed him in the face with water. He grabbed a vase that sat on the edge of the tub, filled it with water, and poured it over the top of her head, completely drenching her. She screamed even louder and punched him hard in the chest.

"Ow, Waldorf, I always knew you liked it rough-"

"Ugh, shut up!" she yelled, suddenly realizing her precarious position. She was straddling him in the water, his hands on her hips. Her dress was floating up on the top of the water, revealing her stockings that clipped to her black lacy panties. As she assessed her position, she felt his hands moving lower and lower so that they rested on her thighs and were teasing at the hem of her stockings.

She quickly stood up and shot him a glare, as she wrung her dress out and stepped out of the tub. "I think you should take a bath."

"I think you should join me," he quipped.

"I think that you're drunk and need to get cleaned up because we have a plane to catch," she retorted as she strode out of the bathroom and went to Serena's room to find something dry to wear. She took her time choosing an appropriate outfit, eventually settling on a simple black dress. She also took time to dry her hair and then swept it back into a low pony-tail with strands falling around her face. After about a half-hour, she returned to Chuck's room and was pleased to find him clean, fully-clothed, and waiting for her.

"You clean up well, Bass," she complimented.

"Not too bad yourself, Waldorf," he returned as she straightened his bowtie. He was standing straight and his words weren't slurred anymore. He seemed to have sobered up enough to coherently speak to her.

"So, Bart took you off the account?" she asked, trying to keep her voice light.

"Yes," he said shortly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, looking up to meet his gaze.

"No," he said, "I'd rather talk about why you're not on a plane right now."

"I forgot my passport in my other purse," she said quickly.

"Really? 'I put Paris on hold to see you,'" he echoed the words that had slipped out of her.

She kept quiet and instead focused on smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in her dress.

"Now why would you do that?" he asked with a smile.

"You know why, Chuck," she snapped. "You don't have to make me feel like an idiot!" she yelled as she stormed out of his room. How could he be treating her like a joke? She put herself on the line and he was making her feel bad about it. She cursed the elevator as she tapped her foot waiting for it to open before her.

Chuck slowly walked down the hall and saw her waiting there. He walked up behind her and wound his arms around her waist. "Tell me why," he whispered into her ear, making her shudder.

She tried her best to stand firm and not melt into his embrace, "No!" she said firmly, "I will not."

Suddenly, she felt his tongue at her earlobe, "Please," he whispered, before continuing his assault on her ear. Her breath hitched as his hands roamed lower and lower, forcing her ass to grind against his hips.

The elevator doors slid open and she forced herself out of his grip, practically sprinting into the elevator. As the doors were closing, he shoved one hand in their way and used the other to grab Blair by the arm, swinging her out and up against the opposite wall. He pushed his whole body up against hers and ran his hands up and down her sides. "No running, Blair, tell me why you didn't leave," he whispered in her ear.

"No!" she said forcefully, "Not until you apologize," she breathed out.

This made him momentarily pause. "Chuck Bass doesn't apologize," he whispered in his most menacing voice.

Blair saw her opening and took full advantage. She lifted her leg up and ran it along his side, pushing her pelvis up to his. "Please," she whispered seductively, letting her lips brush against his ear. "It's just two little words."

She let out a small smirk as she felt his throbbing erection pressing up against her . "No way," he said, letting his hands make their way up her bare legs, slowing down as he reached her inner thigh and played with the flimsy fabric of her panties. "Please tell me why, Blair."

She just shook her head, "You first," she said defiantly.

"Not happening," he said immediately.

She was willing to test his resolve and wanted to make him say it. "It's just two little words," she said as she slid her hand into his pants and wrapped her small hand over his throbbing dick. He let out a groan and his breath got shallower and shallower as she stroked him up and down. "Say it," she commanded.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he moaned out. Slowly, she pulled her hand away from him, and was pleased to hear his disappointment at the loss of contact. "Blair, just tell me why you stayed," he muttered as he slipped a finger into her. She let out a gasp and clutched onto his shoulders, digging her nails into him as he pumped in and out of her. She was so wet and it turned him on like nothing else ever had.

Blair felt her resolve breaking as he continued to tease her sensitive spots. "Just tell me," he urged her.

"I stayed-" she was interrupted by the _ding_ of the elevator, signaling Chuck to slide his fingers out of Blair and for her to fix her dress.

Blair immediately stepped in front of Chuck to hide his huge hard-on. "Mr. Bass, it's so nice to see you," Blair said as the doors slid open.

"Blair," he greeted her, "how's school? You still have your sights set on Yale, I assume?"

"I should be hearing from Yale in a few weeks."

"Well, I would wish you luck, but I'm sure you don't need it. Charles," he greeted his son with a stiff nod of the head before retreating to his bedroom.

Blair turned to face Chuck and immediately noticed his change of mood, "Aren't you going to make a lewd comment or something?" Blair teased.

"Let's just get out of here," he said, pressing the button for the elevator.

"Not so fast. Pack a bag," she ordered.


	12. Chapter 12

Okay….so a thousand apologies for my negligence. It's literally been months since I've written a thing. This was my first and only story and now, with summer here, I hope to fully complete this along with a few more stories. Please give me as many thoughts as possible. I really would appreciate knowing exactly what pieces you find interesting/funny/boring/well-written/poorly-written….pulling out quotes would be good too. Thanks so much and I hope you like it.

Blair and Chuck were on a flight to de Gaulle airport within hours. They made it to Paris in good time and were in a cab before Blair could even process what had just happened. She was pretty sure that she had almost given her body to Chuck against a wall, but the details were a little bit fuzzy. How could her brain be so muddled? She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sudden feeling of pressure on her thigh.

She looked down at the offending fingers and moved her eyes up to meet Chuck's gaze. "Don't look at me like that," she said with the hint of a smile.

"Like what?" he asked innocently.

"You know like what."

"What?" he said in fake innocence. "Oh, you mean like I almost made you tell me how you put off your trip to Paris for me and how I would've fucked you against a wall had Bart not walked in? Is that what you were referring to?" he asked with a smirk.

Blair shot him a fiery glare and pushed his hand off of her leg. "You're such an asshole," she said quite seriously. How could he make a joke out of her putting herself on the line again? She turned her head towards the window and folded her arms across her chest.

Chuck looked at her in shock. "You can't be serious, Blair?" he questioned.

"What are you talking about Chuck?" she replied, turning to look at him.

"I'm talking about how you're mad at me," he said with disbelief.

"I'm not mad at you," she said in her most pleasant tone. She just wanted to get away from him right now, but she didn't want to fight.

"I know you're mad."

"And why would I be mad?" she asked, trying and failing to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "Because you try to make me feel bad for how I feel?"

"I do _not_ try to make you feel bad about your feelings!" he said indignantly.

"Whatever Chuck," she said, shaking her head in disbelief. She had tried to take a step forward in their relationship and all he could do was throw it back in her face as if it was something to be ashamed of. Maybe he really was just toying with her.

"Do you want me to apologize?" he asked.

"Like you would."

"I would…I will. If it will make you feel better," he offered.

She looked up at him and gave him a revolted expression. "No Chuck. You apologizing to appease me will not make me feel better. That's not how apologies work. You actually have to know you've been wrong."

"Fine, then I'm not sorry, but I don't want you to be mad. So can we please move on from whatever hormonal malfunction you're having," he said with a smile, grabbing her hand.

"Fine," she said with a very forced smile. She didn't want to be in a fight either and she was probably just working herself up unnecessarily. However, she was very aware of how her feelings for Chuck had shifted in that cab ride.

They arrived at their apartment in the early morning to find everyone passed out. Serena was draped across the couch in her blue Zac Posen shift, looking fantastic as usual. Her hair was still glowing miraculously. Blair laughed to herself at the sight of a bucket placed next to Serena.

Blair continued to scan the room. She found Dan in a asleep in a small chair close to Serena. Blair was reassured to know that he was looking after her best friend. This left two unaccounted for. Where were Nate and Marc?

Blair didn't plan on looking too hard. Instead she and Chuck went upstairs to claim beds. The apartment had 4 bedrooms and bathrooms, a kitchen and dining room, a living room, and a balcony. It was smaller than any of them were used to, except maybe for Humphrey, but it was very Parisian.

Blair went to her room at the end of the hallway and promptly fell asleep.

She woke up that morning very early. The time difference was really throwing her off. She hopped in the shower and got dressed, ready to leave by 9 o'clock. It was just too bad that the others hadn't woken up. She made her way to the kitchen and made a fuss about finding a pot to boil water, purposely banging them loudly together, hoping to wake Serena and Dan.

Instead, she saw Marc make his way down the staircase. "You made it!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, we got in around 4:30."

"We?"

"Oh," Blair said. She had forgotten that Chuck wasn't expected. "Yeah, Chuck cleared his schedule, so he's here too."

"Well, that's great," Marc said, attempting cheerfulness. Blair, however, noted how his eyes didn't quite match his mouth. She decided to ignore it.

"Do you want some tea?" she asked brightly. He nodded his head and she grabbed an extra cup from the cupboard.

"So," she said, trying to break the tension that had formed. Clearly Marc was displeased by Chuck's presence. "What did you guys do last night?"

"Well, Serena took us to some club that she said was amazing."

"Was it….amazing?"

"It was…something else," he said with a smile, "I've never seen anything like that before. It was…." He regaled Blair with the details of their wild night, while she feigned interest until Serena woke up.

She bounced into the kitchen with a smile as she rushed over to give Blair a hug. After their greetings, Blair prompted both of them to get ready to go out. Serena managed to wake Dan out of his raging slumber and Marc agreed to get Nate up, which left just one person.

"Chuck?" Blair called, as she walked into his room, confused by Chuck's absence.

The bathroom door opened and Chuck stepped out fully dressed and ready to leave. "I love it when you call my name," he greeted. "Although I prefer the circumstances-"

"You're up?" she interrupted in shock.

"You don't miss a beat."

They just stood looking at each other for a few seconds, which Blair felt like could've been hours. She was still angry at Chuck for their cab ride, but wasn't in the mood for a fight "Well, I just wanted to get everyone up so we can leave," she said, turning to leave.

"Blair," he called.

She turned around quickly, and cursed herself for being so eager. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"For what?" she asked, pretending to be confused.

"You know for what," he said, walking to her.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "We're not playing this game."

"Look, Blair, I haven't slept. I debated going to you last night, but I didn't know what to say. I was lost. I mean, I've never even tried to have what I want with you," he paused to assess her reaction. She nodded for him to continue. "Here's the thing. I want to be with you. And I don't know how to do that, so you're going to have to point me in the right direction sometimes."

She nodded slowly. "You want me to be your…_girlfriend_?"

"Call it what you will, but all I know is that you've consumed my being. And when I knew that you were mad at me I couldn't even function. I just kept going over and over everything that I said and praying that you'd give me another chance."

She just looked at him and smiled. Wow, Chuck Bass actually wanted a relationship and it was with her. She forgot what she had been mad about. She couldn't even think of how to respond, so instead she pulled his lips to hers and enveloped him in a kiss. She let the kiss deepen before pulling herself slowly away, "I'm really happy," she said simply.

He looked into her eyes and pulled her towards him, "You know I'm still getting used to this, you may need to cut me some slack," he said before he captured her lips with his.

"I'll talk you though it, virgin," she teased.

Okay, so this was terrible, but I just need to get back to writing. I'm a little bit rusty. Give any suggestions you'd like to see, cuz I'm tapped out.


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